Clad in a gaudy, light gray striped suit, a stunned M. Harry Smilac asks Quick Rick Roberts, "You've never heard of M. Harry Smilac?"There was a sentence when I'd be prepared to ask a friend the same question or a variation, such as "You've never heard of 'Body Slam?'"For a great part of my life, I wasa hardcore pro-wrestling fan, one brought up on the 80s and 90s spectacles from the WCW and WWF (now the WWE).
ike any self-respecting young fan, a hazard to see one of my favorite stars in a film or TV picture was an opportunity not to be missed.1987's "Body Slam" was, on paper at least, a dream come true.Wrestlers in a movie, about wrestling; surely someone must be joking?!Sadly, Hal Needham's "Body Slam" delivers wrestlers in a wrestling movie, headlined by Dirk Benedict (yes, that Dirk Benedict) as slick, failed music producer, turned wrestling promoter, M. Harry Smilac.
Hal Needham, who is better known for his influence on the goofy action movies, "Smokey and the Brigand" and "Cannonball Run" directs a form of questionable talent in an incomprehensibly bad movie, that will only garner unintentional laughs from the most veteran wrestling fan.Anyone not associate with the sport, will mark his or her mind at a fantasy world where kayfabe (wrestling terminology for staying in character) is active and well.Wrestlers scuffle in parking lots, showing rivalries don't end in the cabinet room or ring, and clueless outsiders (Smilac) can only introduce the business, because after all, the job isn't owned by private entities, right?
While Benedict is evidently the wizard of the movie, most viewers: young and old are probably to recognize Roddy Piper as Smilac's first client, the previously mentioned Quick Rick Roberts.Roberts and his partner, Tonga Tom (Sam Fatu/The Tonga Kid) don't simply get their new manager's conman tendencies to learn out for, but the constant terror of force by The Cannibals (Sione Vailahi better known as WCW's The Wild and Tom Cassett), because they jumped ship from Captain Lou Murano's employ.Murano is played by none other than, drum roll, yes, you guessed it Captain Lou Albano.To say "Body Slam" panders to wrestling fans and only wrestling fans is an understatement; even with my knowledge of the business, the picture comes off as a badly written (by pro wrestling standards even) disaster.
While the wrestlers employed in "Body Slam" deserve an obvious pass for their less than stellar thespian skills, Benedict on the other hand doesn't get off so easy.To this day I wonder who saw him as a leading man, when his glory years of "Battlestar Galactica" were behind him and he was arguably third banana on "The A-Team."The just thing memorable about his depiction of M. Harry Smilac is the character's name.Benedict throws subtlety out the windowpane and comically sleazy, but not funny enough to fit in the pro-wrestling world.Needham, desperate to living things going moves Smilac from one goofy shenanigan to the future and you're never exactly sure what the biggest problem in his biography is.A bright example is the show of the stereotypical Asian villain, Mr. Kim, a man in the "corrections" business, or if you aren't fluent in stereotypical broken English, "collections."His appearance seems nothing more than excuse to take in wrestling favorites Afa and Sika as Kim's hired goons to continually destroy Smilac's car with their naked hands.
The one doubt that remains amidst a near incoherent attempt to have sense of the film is, "is there anything memorable about it?"Yes, but barely.Amidst my cloudy childhood recollection of "Body Slam" one component still sticks out and that's Smilac's showdown with Captain Lou on the Carson show.Carson, Vic Carson to be specific is the server of Ring Talk and none other than THE Charles Nelson Reilly fills his shoes.Make no mistake, the negotiation is still awful, the performances puzzling, and sensation is still nowhere to be found (random vulgar Billy Barty cameo!), but it's just so unearthly that it must be seen to be believed.Thankfully Carson (and Barty) show up a few more times before this turkey weakly lays down for the three count (obligatory, bad wrestling reference).
For wrestling fans "Body Slam" might have a stratum of nostalgia for the appearances alone; the actual matches are damp and the less said almost the finale's rock concert turned brawl, the better.To the uninitiated, "Body Slam" will ruin your head and give you wishing you could get your 90 minutes back.I honestly regret revisiting this movie, because while, sure I laughed at it's inanity, I was horrified at how such a tragedy was funded in the foremost place.It remains a will to the power pro-wrestling once had on pop culture and frequently how destitute of originality the 80s were.Still, more films could use random Ric Flair cameos.
THE DVD
The Video
The 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer is plagued by noticeable edge-enhancement while colors are fuzzy and muddy, and contingent is mediocre at it's finest hour, with a universal point of noise/grain present throughout.
The Audio
The Side 2.0 audio track is tolerable in dialogue driven scenes, with distortion free and easily mixed being the key adjectives, but during any of the big wrestling or musical sequences, the track is decidedly shrill and lifeless.
The Extras
The film's theatrical trailer is the only extra.
Final Thoughts
Awful, awful, and awful, "Body Slam" will just seem to the most seasoned pro-wrestling fan, wanting to poking fun at the goofiness of the 80s and exactly how far some wrestlers have come in the acting world.MGM's technical presentation isn't outstanding, but for as dire as the film is, it feels better than it should be.The cosmopolitan population should stay far off from this one though.Rent It.
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